Deceit...

Isn't it funny how we all want a good man or woman when searching for love but don't know what to do once they come along? You come across as someone that knows what he/she wants but when deeper into the relationship, you are confused all of a sudden. That's just too pathetic and unfair to the other party if you ask me!!! If you are not ready for a relationship, why not disclose that right from get go as opposed to wasting everyone's time with your lies and deceit? Don't you think it would be much easier that way and still maintain your integrity and respect as you would have come correct? Well most people dont think that way.


I remember the first conversation we had and it was magic from get go. We both knew what we wanted so decided to take things slow. Things were really good between us and I’d never felt like that about anyone in so long. You made me feel wanted and appreciated for who I am but I don’t know if all that was just a front. All I wanted was to be with someone I could trust and share things with but I guess that’s a crime nowadays as people don’t seem to know what they want anymore. Even if they eventually get what they want, they wouldn’t know what to do with it. we really had a good connection but something happened and it vanished into thin air. You really changed and pulled far away. You don’t crack jokes anymore, you don’t communicate like you used to, and I felt like you were forcing yourself to even communicate with me. Etc. Maybe the attraction just isn’t there anymore? Well, whatever the case might be, I know I gave it my all and really tried my best. If I like something, I GO for it.

You used my feelings as an excuse and after I'd clarified things with you the last time we spoke, you remained silent but instead distant yourself more and later told me you think we should have kept it as friends because you have a feeling something would go wrong. What exactly would go wrong? Well that’s not really telling me anything as you haven’t made that clear to me? It just sounds like an excuse to get out of something if you ask me because I’d clearly told you my feelings are completely out of the question. Once again if my feelings are not an issue anymore, what then is it? Are you afraid to fall in love? Talk to me!! You could say if you just want to have fun with many as you don’t want to be tied down by one guy. I would respect and understand that as you would have come correct. Maybe you might have found someone who would like to keep it casual and would rather go with that instead? Maybe you are trying to get back with the last guy that wants you back now? I mean it would only be easier as you both have had something in the past...........See; the lack of clarity has opened a whole lot of questions if you think about it. Not saying that is the case but those are possible reasons, right? You think about it.

Another thing is my close friends knew that I was willing to get into something serious again if I found the right person. So when I met you and got to know you a bit I placed you on such a high pedestal in their eyes but now I feel so stupid that I can’t even mention it. Each time they ask about you, I just smile and say you are fine. I mean, what else could I say? I don't want to seem like a fool for putting high hopes in forming a good relationship with you. But I guess I shouldn’t have placed all my eggs in one basket. Another lesson learned.